Death by Laughter

There are very few things in life that I find genuinely funny. Sadaf sent me this link and I listened to a minute and a half out of 4 minutes and I couldn't breathe because I was laughing so hard. BUT after the first minute and a half the jokes are retarded again. But man... I haven't laughed this hard in a long long time. Much thanks Sadoodoo.

Why I want to be a doctor part II

So we left off in the physio workshop. My group consisted of 2 girls and 2 other guys, 1 of which is married (there are a LOT of married people in med school). We sit down and we read this case, silently, I'm marking up my notes (as you can see from the scans I uploaded) and then we broke off into our groups and we discussed what the problem could potentially be. And all the other groups are immediately thinking out loud food poisoning, botulism, blah blah blah, but one of my guys used to be an EMT and he immediately goes "This sounds a lot like organophosphate poisoning." I'm thinking to myself what on earth is OP poisoning, but I'm smiling and nodding with the rest of them. Turns out organophosphates are like stuff that's used in insecticides, and it makes sense because the patient is in landscaping. He pulls out his iPhone and searches organophosphate poisoning and it says that that Organophosphates basically inactivates acetylcholine esterase. Now THIS is where it got really cool... we all got together and we were like, ok, what is acetylcholine esterase? Why, it degrades acetylcholine to Choline and Acetyl CoA, of course. Where does that happen? Why, in the synaptic cleft, of course. What does that mean? That means when the nerve fires, the neurotransmitter Acetylcholine doesn't get degraded like it should... so... maybe.. it keeps on binding to the receptors... so it keeps firing the nerve or muscle that it is innervating. Now, the grand finale... what nerves use Acetylcholine? Why, All presynaptic sympathetics, select post synaptic sympathetics, and both pre and post synaptic synaptic parasympathetics. That means that there will be an exponential increase of parasympathetic activity.


Im sure you all are familiar with sympathetic vs parasympathetic nerves: sympathetic = fight or flight, parasympathetic = rest and digest. But what happens if you rest and digest wayyy too much? Your breathing slows down, you have a ton of mucus being secreted in your lungs (hence the moist rales) your pupils don't dialate, you salivate like crazy, and you start throwing up (these are the related symptoms particular to our case). And thne you have the muscle faciculations, which makes sense because motor nerves use Acetylcholine, and the subsequent flaccidness of muscles/paralysis was due to receptors becoming desensitized (aka accomodation).


Anyways, the name of these posts were why I want to be a doctor, and I mentioned the difference between the science of medicine and the art of medicine, and how dark dark darrrrrrrrrrrrrrk it can get in medical school. Speaking of which, let me go off on a little tangent: Recently, before my histology exam, I stayed up 2 nights in a row and then gave my exam. On my second all nighter it was around 3 AM I decided to take a nap, so I left all my stuff at the cafeteria (that's where I was studying at the time) and I came home to sleep squished next to the 1 man flooring bed that Sadaf was occupying and I put my alarm at around 4:45. A man can not really sleep under those conditions. The fear of oversleeping does not allow you to keep your eyes closed more than 3 minutes at a time. When it was time to get up, I felt like hell... and as I sat there on the dark floor thinking about my life... right then and there I gave up medicine. Because there is nothing in the world that could justify this much pain. There was a time I was volunteering in Cook County ER a man came in with gout in his ankle. If you know anything about gout you will know it is excruciatingly painful. This man was in so much pain he was sweating, and we gave him so much morphine that a normal person would've been alseep a long time prior, but it barely made his pain go away. He made a comment, he said that I don't wish this pain on anybody. At that time in my life I hated certain people, a real hatred, hatred that would confuse someone for the devil (Marin would know what I am talking about), and I thought to myself, really? I would never expirience any pain which I wouldn't wish on the people I hated. Well my children, at that moment, the despair, the panic, and the utter defeat felt so horrible, I wouldn't wish that on anybody. All of you who sleep at night, when you lay in bed and expirience that moment of peace, of comfort, thank Allah for it. Your life would go to hell in no time flat if Allah decided that you would never sleep again. The act of laying down in bed during the night with little to no life threatening concerns is probably the biggest blessing you take for granted. You better thank Allah before He takes it away.


Anyways, the point of all this is that sometimes we get so caught up studying the science of medicine that you lose sight of why you are during this, and that all these little names and details and muscles and enzymes and cofactors will actually mean anything one day. (To finish the story about my histo exam, I had to walk back to the cafeteria to get my stuff, so when I got there there were other students there... and I thought to myself... it's not so bad =) Anyways, to tie everything all together... to sit in that physio workshop and to deduce everything and put stuff together, it was pure magic. And for that one moment of awe... I remembered why I wanted to be a doctor.

Sadoodidoodidoo... Where are you?

Sadoodidoodidoo
Where are you?
I've got to go to sleep now
But if I'm not with you
Sadoodidoo
Then how can that come true now?

Sadoodidoodidoo
I need you
Or else I'll start to shiver
And if you don't come through
Sadoodidoo
I'll feel it in my liver

You know I'm trying to get a schedule going so Sadoodoo clean up your act
And come back!
And if you come through we're going to have a Sadoodi panda bear snack
That's a fact!

Sadoodidoodidoo
I miss you
And I feel like a villian
Cuz when I look for you
My Boo boo
We could have just been chillin

But it's a sight to see
when everybody
Sees you and gets spell-bound
But when you come to me
Sadoodidee
We'll go to sleep and sleep sound

Sorry ladies, it's been a long time

Welcome welcome welcome you are far too kind, this is the encore do you want more? Good, cuz here I am back again with a vengence. It's been a while since I've posted, I apologize for that. Right now it is 3:36 AM Arizona Time (yes, we do have our own time zone and I'm not kidding either, look at the settings of your phone and see if it's even an option if you don't believe me) and I'm trying to keep my nose above the water for Histology, exam being Friday morning (today is Wednesday... well it was Wednesday, technically it is very early Thursday morning) at 7:30 AM, and man I am livin the life! Anyways, a little update... I've been a little busy, I've had an Anatomy exam this past Monday, that sucked away all my time from the weekend, but there are lots to tell LOTS TO TELL I tell you. I've actually made a list of postings I need too catch up on. The list is as follows:

~ Part 2 of Physio workshup ==> Continuation of why I want to be a doctor
~ Ode to Umar Khokhar for his homosexual comments to my Part 1 of Physio workshop
~ This past Anatomy exam
~ Phlebotomy lab (Insha Allah at 9 AM I have to be in the lab and we are going to harpoon each other's veins trying to draw blood, stay posted for the update)
~ A picture tour of my study room and how I pimped it out
~ A subset of the above post with a focus on my teapot
~ A scanned page (or maybe a few pages) of my notes, so everyone can see what one has to go through to study in Medical school
~ Response to Sadoodoo hijacking my blog and posting at will
~ And lastly: WHY THE **** DOESN'T ANYBODY COMMENT (aside from my beloved beautiful wife that I talk to every single day anyways Masha Allah ALhamdulillah)

So what I am going to do insha Allah is I will post once a day, covering the above topics as first priority. I have the histo exam on Friday, but I also have a physio exam on Monday (which will be a frickin MARATHON study session this weekend) but insha Allah I will make time because the world doesn't stop due to a little homework, and I have fans to cater too therefore you will be rewarded for your patience. As for today, I am going to cover the topic of commenting:

The reason why I made this blog was because I wanted those who were close to me to know what it's like living here with Sadoodoo, how is Arizona, how is medical school, and so on and so forth. Because there is a LOT that happens and a LOT that I wanna share with yous guys. Last quarter Nosheen aapa had to take the majority of it cuz I needed to vent every 3-4 days, so I would call her up, and life would be good. But then you have everybody asking me the same questions, answers that took me a whole quarter, 2-3 times a week, 30-45 min conversations apiece to articulate to Nosheen aapa, and how am I supposed to answer these questions of "hey, whats it like? whats med school like? is it hard?" at a dinner party? So what ends up happening is I give a severly shorthand version of the story, and it stays in the persons mind a grand total of 7 seconds, enough for them to say "oh really? wow, cool" *swallows food* and then life goes on. So I made this blog so that the people who mean a lot to me can KNOW what happens as it happens. And I enjoy writing because I feel like I am talking to everyone who frequents my humble site.

But the problem is, the reason why I write (or the reason why ANYONE ever communicates ANYTHING that has ANY LENGHT to it whatsoever) is because I want to get a RESPONSE!!!! Do you know what it's like to spend sometimes 30 to 45 minutes writing a post, and then the next day seeing your hit count go up, but no one even dropped a line? Maybe I'm being a girl, so I won't start crying over it for too long. I just want you to know that a few words would go a really, really long way for me.

So to help get comments going, what I am going to do insha Allah is that everytime I post, at the very end of my post I am going to ask a question. All you need to do is respond to the question. Make it as long or as short as you like. Cool? <--- (this is the question for this posting! Now go comment!)

This is just a really nice song. Enjoy

A Tribute to the Lazy Med Student

This blog has been hacked to bring you this special post. Thanks to my dear husband, many of you know me as "Sadoodoo", and I would like to share a moment in time with all of you.

I have a dark and scandalous history with the field of health care. I will not elaborate on that except to say that perhaps as a result, I'd scoff at the people wanting to be doctors, dentists, etc etc. Shakil knew I wasn't exceptionally thrilled that he wanted to be a doctor, but obviously I would support him, as was expected of a good wife. I would support him, despite the fact that it was not the ideal life, being the wife of a medical student, having to deal with an irritated, stressed husband who is constantly under pressure, who doesn't have normal sleeping cycles, who can't eat meals with you like in a normal household, who never has one-tenth of a second to spare, and who transforms into delicate eggshells on weekends before exams. No, it's not easy learning to live with a person like that, on top of having my own classes to worry about, maintaing a clean house, cooking, keeping on top of the bills, groceries, and being the permanent PR person to family members on both sides.

So you say, cry me a river. Ok, fine, maybe it's not *that* bad. It's kinda nice, being in charge, doing things my way (more or less) and letting Shakil just focus on what he needs to do to succeed in school. But the point is, the toll I saw med school putting on Shakil just gave me another reason to think, ugh, medicine is awful.

Then last Friday we went to the White Coat Ceremony. I'm sitting with my father-in-law sharing a laugh at the expense of the cermony, mocking it's gallant attempt at motivation. As the evening drew on, some nice words were spoken, the ceremony was well executed, and we had to sit and watch a billion students get coated. It was *almost* as bad as graduation ceremonies. As I sat there, watching the students with huge lopsided grins, the happiness in their eyes shone brighter than the chandeliers in the room. And when Shakil walked off the stage with a white coat now over his attire, I choked up thinking two thoughts.

The first was about the medical profession. I remembered having a conversation once with Shakil about why he wanted to be a doctor. I told him he could have entered many other fields that required much less work, much less stress, and sometimes much more money! He told me then that of course he could have, but that work would never have satisfied him knowing that he wasn't utilizing the knowledge and skills Allah blessed him with to help those in need. As I sat in my chair watching him, it became clear to me what those words really meant, and the responsibility that coat added into our lives, to the lives of all those accepting white coats. What I saw sitting there, was the nobility that existed in the medical field's purest form, minus all the politics and red tape. I watched with a sense of awe and respect at those students so willing to burden themselves with that magnificent responsibility.

My second thought was that it doesn't matter that this was his dream up to this point, because I am no longer an uninvolved bystander offering support from a distance. From here on out, this is a bittersweet struggle and a dream that we are living and experiencing together. When inshaAllah he walks off of another stage four years later with two tiny letters after his name, that will be the result of a battle that we experienced, survived, and conquered together by the grace of Allah.

And so the ceremony that was supposed to be the motivation for the student-doctors became an inspiration for me to live for the deam that my husband began, and that together we will end, insha'Allah. On a last note, the one line I remember vividly from all the speeches was the following. May your days ahead be as bright as the coats you wear.

Here are some photos from the ceremony. Enjoy =)

...the sea of white coats.

...the cadaver lab!!

Some more nice quotes

Sometimes in life, you have to be intelligent.
~ Boro Mama (Mamu for the urdu speaking crowd)

You are never really playing an opponent. You are playing yourself, your own highest standard. And when you reach your limits... that is the real joy.
~ Arthur Ashe

Eid Mubarak

White Coat, Me, Usman, Asim, Ramin from left to right.

Assalaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah

It's 12:21 AM on Eid eve, and I'm trying to catch up on studying. I'm high on green tea that I actually brewed. I bought a tea kettle today from a middle eastern store and this small packet of chinese green tea called gun powder and man im hiiiiiiiiiiigh haha. Sadoodoo is still in the kitchen doing her pre eid cooking and I sent an email out to the muslim body saying come on over tomorrow anytime and eat insha Allah. My play list right now is Snow (hey yo) by red hot chili peppers, bad moon rising by CCR (hilarious song, listen to it and tell me you dont picture me haha), pray by Jay Z, and Get Up by 50 cent. There is also its a beautiful life by ace of base but we will disregard that. Let's see if I can pull till 3 am, then wake up by 6:30. This is the life! That's what I'm talking about, studying till humanity sleeps and then wakes up again, being the only crazy fool enjoying the pain... ahhh yes nothing like the life of a student. Baptized by fire baby. Gunna include part 2 of my physio workshop diagnosis soon iA.

Why I want to be a doctor

This is a question I've asked myself countless times last quarter. This would be a typical conversation I would have with myself:

I would have a histology and anatomy exam coming up, but man this get so hard! What innervates the abdominal organs? What are the neurotransmitters? What path does pain sensation travel as opposed to non pain? What about the arters? Oh, and tell me the levels too. What about that dermatome? Wait wait wait, you are spending too much time on anatomy now, you have to give histology some time, because you still can't tell the difference between fundic stomach and the duodenum. And you still can't tell me where microvilli are found, and what chief cells secrete, and where the cysterna chyli drains into. And you still can't tell me what red pulp looks like, nor can you tell me the difference between 3 tonsils and where they are found. Oh, look at the clock, it's almost 3 am. Sleep? What sleep? You gotta be able to know all this information like the back of your hand, because if you can't spit it out at will, then the exam will eat you. You know Oh yea, and the exam is in 4 hours. Time, what do you mean "where did it go?" Yes, you spent a lot of time studying, and yes you studied hard, but bad news my friend... you studied too slow.

And about this time I would ask myself the golden question... WHY AM I HERE? Why am I doing this? Ladies, for anyone interested in going into medicine, listen to my words carefully. You need to ask yourself Why you want to be a doctor. And it has to be a real answer. And you have to want it. The desire has to burn inside of you, deep in the pit of your gut, it drives you when you have every desire to turn around. That fire has to be strong, because there will be many many dark moments on your path in getting those letters after your name.

There are two sides to doctoring: The art of Medicine, and the Science of Medicine. One can deduce what I am referring to just by the names of these terms. Many people have probably commented "You would make a good doctor" or "You have the look of a doctor." Maybe the way you treat others, maybe the way you listen, your critical thinking, your care and compassion, something about you exuded the aura of a health care professional. But children, never forget that the art of medicine is only half the equation. The other half - the science of medicine - is what separates people. This requires more than just reading stories, or watching TV shows and episodes of Scrubs and ER and Gray's Anatomy. It requires isolating yourself from the rest of the world - from your friends from your family from those who care about you, and surround yourself with people who sat down to study before you came, and who remain studying even after you leave. It requires single-minded focus at the task at hand, focus that drives away all thoughts of sleep and anything else that won't help you know your material inside and out. It requires staying awake late into the night when the masses of humanity are asleep, and waking up early, to roll out of bed andmake your way to your study chair before even thinking so you don't have time to change your mind for a few extra hours of sleep. It requires staying seated anywhere from 4 - 7 hours a day being lectured on material so dense, that every second seems like the professor is trying to set a world record on how much material they can cover. And to commit one hour of lecture to memory takes around 3 hours of time outside of class. This is the science of medicine.

During the first 2 years of medical school, it is about 9% academic classroom learning - the science of medicine. The 2nd two years are called rotations in which a student spends anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks at different fields of medicine (such as family practice, internal medicine, emergency room, anesthesia, radiology, psychiatry, etc) where the student learns a lot of application and the art of being a doctor. For a lot of people during these first two years, life gets really bleak and dull, and we constantly say and think I don't want to be here I want to go home. It's because we don't get to much exposure to why we wanted to be a doctor in the first place. We memorize so much information and deep down we think to ourselves "I will NEVER use this in my practice, what is the point?" And that undermines our sincerety and our quality and dedication to the sciences. The only reason why we study it so hard is so we do well on our board exams, so we can place into the residency of our choosing.

But today my friends, I expirienced something that was magical, something electrical, something that charged me up and reminded me why I wanted to be a doctor.

I made a committment to myself that I would insha Allah go and attend every single class this quarter. So far I missed 15 minutes of OMM lecture on Wednesday because it was at 1:30 and I took a nap and overslept but I ran to class as quick as possible. And today I missed all of the last hour of Anatomy because it conflicted with Jummah time. But Friday mornings are always a drag because Friday morning at 8 AM is Psychiatry - Human Behavior. About 70% of students believe it's a waste of time, so they don't go to class. Their either sleep in or study another subject on their own. But for me, it seems fundamentally flawed that skipping classes would result in me doing better in medical school. Anyways, I was a little late in waking up this morning, so I had to rush to class quickly without showering (or waking up fully for that matter) and I figured I would do all that in the break. So I go to Human Behavior and it was good. Then comes Biochem which was a grind. Then came Physiology, which was also a grind. Now by this time it is 11 oclock, I have to use the bathroom, I wanna go to sleep, and I want to shower, and I keep telling myself that ok at the next hour I will go back home, screw this plan of mine, I need to freshen up, blah blah blah. But for some reason Alhamdulillah I stayed in my chair. Now once it hit 11 oclock it was the point of no return because I had physiology workshop which was mandatory. And I totally did not want to go. But I didn't have a choice, so I went. One last hour before break...

So I get there, not knowing what to expect, not caught up with my readings so I know I won't be able to contribute anything, and definitly not in the mood for any workshop/lab/interactive discussion of any sort. I get to the room and its full of all these up beat hyper people because later on is the white coat ceremony and those room sizes are small so everyone starts talking to each other and man I just want to be alone I don't have time to deal with other people. Then the facilitator comes in with this english accent and starts talking about how we need to get into our groups, read the case, and develope a bunch of questions about what we don't know, and figure out the problem. So I get into my group and subhan Allah, of like the 25 kids in the class, the 4 people who were in my group were like the only 4 who were quiet, serious people. So we spend a few minutes reading the case, and from that point onwards, I started to really enjoy it. I uploaded our case in backwards order (all marked up from my notes) . What I want you to do is read this case and try to figure out what happened (and ignore my notes). What would your diagnosis be?

I'll continue this post after I get some comments ;-) Umar Khokhar I expect great responses from you.

Last clips, I promise

So in order to understand the diagnosis wenckebach spoof, you should watch this clip where this doctor actually does a ridiculously amazing job in acting out normal hearth rythyms, as well as different pathologies. (Well, you won't fully understand the song or the lyrics, but you will see why they keep showing people spreading their arms out and going up and down).

And this just reminds me of Tasneem. Don't ask me why.

The sad part about all this is that I actually understand these clips

testing

I don't know how to make the whole thing show. Basically the guy in the green asks in the next slide "Was it good?" and the guy in the yellow just looks at him (and continues to look at him for two more slides after the green dude asks "well?"
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

A little bit on med school

So I used to call Nosheen Appa all the time and bombard her with medical terms so that I would feel smart. I haven't called her yet, but I'm needing an ego boost right about now, so here we go!

Well well well lets see where to begin... In the OMM lab we did some more counterstrain last quater I learned counterstrain on the cervical spine well actually just on C2 but you can apply it all down the cervicals be it on the spinous or transverse processes (except my sister has a tender point literally on C0 and I tried the common extension and opposite rotation - which didn't work for the life of me but I later found out that C0 (which is the occiput for those who don't know) counterstrain requires flexion, so when I get back to Chicago I wll try it again). Anyways, we learned how to do countestrain on tenderpoints along the anterior sternum (not like you could palpate the posterior sternum anyways, right?) and then we did counterstrain on upper thoracics. What was really interesting however was using muscle energy to fix type 2 dysfunctions on the thoracic vertebra. Like I could palpate your vertabrae and say oh look you T5 is flexed, rotated and side bent to the left, and you would be like uhhh ok that means nothing to me but fix it and I would say uhhh I don't know how to, but after today's class I do know how to! Ohh so exciting lol. Dude, every single partner I get in OMM is a waste of my life. No one knows how to do anything properly when it comes to treatment. How are you gunna increase my arterial flow and venous and lymph drainage if your too scared to put pressure? The girl who I was partnered up with started out being doctor first and I would be patient and then we would switch. It got to a point where she was like listen, cna you be doctor first? Cuz I learn from the way you do it. Oh, I also learned how to stretch subscapularis... I'd like to see how many people can put that on their resume (Where you are now UMAR KHOKHAR?!?).

Another highlight academically was whilst I was sitting in physiology, and the professor was talkin about secondary facilitated transport (I don't remember if that's what it was called but basically you use extracellular sodium to cotransport another molecule against a gradient, so it doesn't use ATP directly cuz the Na is going with its gradient but you need ATP for the Na - K - ATP ase pump, but anyways, the example of the cotransport was when the sodium was aiding glucose to enter the cell. And MAN this one kid in my class, subhan Allah, very very hard worker, sincere brother, his name is Ramin, iranian kid (People call him ramen noodle) he asks the question that why is the diagram showing glucose going against a gradient when according to the last class, the table showed that glucose had a higher extracellular concentration that intracellular. I was just blown away by that question simply because HOW in the hell did he catch that? I mean I studied the previous lectures too and normally I don't commit those ions and stuff to memory on the first reading, but I spent an extra minute reading that table and making a little cartoon of the cell and drawing out which ions and molecules are abundant EC vs IC and I remember that glucose had almost a 5 to 1 ratio EC. But like with the pace of the lecture and all, HOW did he catch that???? Everyone else in the world will say, who cares? That wasn't a big deal... but me, I give props where props are due. (The answer in case anyone was wondering was showing the lumen of the GI tract where there is a relatively high concentration of glucose in the epithelial cells (enterocytes I believe) relative to the lumen. But don't quote me on this, I haven't look today's lectures over. And even if I do, I still wouldn't quote myself on it unless I'm ready to take an exam on it.

Actually, I still wouldn't quote myself before an exam haha. Aiight ladies I studied a grand total of 1 hour today - from 4:30 am - 5 am, and from 5pm - 5:30 pm. Other times was spent sleeping, in class, and working out. Man, everyone n the freaking gym is jacked! Here I am working m shoulders with 10 pound dumbells and I'm having a hard time, and I'm next to people who could probably get a job being a walking anatomy chart. Well it is what it is... Now I will go to bed insha Allah and try to wake up at 4:30 and insha Allah this time I will stay up. Insha Allah.

Today was not well spent

So Sadaf came home today, Alhamdulillah, and for her I cleaned the toilet, did the dishes, and organized my room. I bought her a bed the other day, so I set that up, as well as going out 10 miles to buy her a desk (also a suprise) and a last minute idea to make her some tilapia filets for dinner (also a suprise). The result: no time to study. This morning I had a late start and sat in the lecture hall from around 8:30 to 10 and studied physio, only 2 pages short from catching up. My plan was to study from 3 - 7 and get caught up with yesterday's 2 lectures of anatomy. Then from 7 - 7:30 clean up everything. But when I got home, the dude selling the desk off craigslist called me and accepted my offer of $20 (he was selling it for $35) so I had to go wth my boy from UIC Usman. I kept on saying to Usman that I hope the desk fits in my car. When we got there and ALhamdulillah I really liked the desk, everyone said this isn't going to fit by any angle. Now, I'm waiting for the day when I ask Allah (S) sometime, and it doesn't come true, but so far, everytime Alhamdulillah that I asked from Allah (S) to help me with something, I've never been dissappointed. So I silently asked Allah (S) to make this fit, to make it easy for me, and Subhan Allah, after a few minutes, inch by inch, it fit into the back seat, AND he gave me a matching chair with it! Never underestimate the power of Dua, and the power of saying Bismillah.

When I got home I still hadn't studied nor cleaned, and I had to drop off Usman. So driving him to his crib, he says yo Shak I got this tilapia fish I'm gunna make it for you and we can eat it. He's been telling me about this tilapia since last Sunday when I picked him up from the airport, but he ended up coming to my place later on to watch the bears game and he ate at my place, So he's been on my case cuz he was supposed to invite me over and feed me, but instead he came over and ate food that I gave him. So since he took the time to help me with the desk, I felt obliged to spend time with him on his request. I'm not going to lie though, I was thinking to myself the whole time, what's the big deal with tilapia? Im Bangalli, my dad brings that stuff all the time, it's just a regular day for me if we are eating tilapia, lol.

So I come over and the first thing I see is the biggest scoop of "whipped" butter thrown into the frying pan and his mini sized george foreman grill, enough butter to give my retina atherosclerosis. I'll make a long story short, after expressing my shock and eating his food and seeing how gourmet-like tasty it was, I made a run to the super walmart, got me some tilapia filets, prepared the fish according to my own healthier calculations, and then quickly did the chores and cleaned up, and then ran to pick up Sadoodoo (her flight arrived late). So what happened: She was impressed with the food, happy witht he desk, ecstatic with the bed (even though I personally would be more excited about the desk)............... and I DIDN'T GET ANY STUDYING DONE =(

Now it's 10:15 PM, and as of right now I still have my 2 pages of physio to finish for me to get all caught up, but we did 2 lectures of biochem and 2 more lectures of anatomy, so now I have to catch up 2 biochem and 4 anatomy! And tomorrow morning I will get fed 2 more lectures of biochem AND 2 more lectures of physio, so as of tomorrow afternoon I'll have my plate full of 4 biochem and 4 anatomy and 2 physio (not to mention the 6 slides I have yet to finish from yesterday).

Oh and to put icing on this yummy yummy cake... I couldn't go to the gym today cuz of my messed up schedule and demand of things to do. Beautiful. Well, I ought to be studying right now but I took the time out instead to inform those who care about my situation. Tommorow's priority will be 2 anatomy lectures at least, Insha Allah, Ameen. (If I could do 2 anatomy and 2 biochem, that would be gold). I'm going to go to sleep now in my new bed insha Allah and hopefully I can wake up early around 4:30 ish and study. Piece.

I hate studying

I remember why med school was so hard for me. I have an attention span of like 4 minutes. After that... its torturous to sit there. The problem is you can cover about 2 slides in 4 minutes, and you ought to cover 90 slides so you don't fall behind. And that's just physiology, you didn't even touch Anatomy yet. Well, back to the grind, I'm on slide 24.

Remember the Name

I want to talk a little bit about why I chose this title for my page. I didn't do it because I am aiming for lazyness. Throughout my whole life, Alhamdulillah, I was a pretty smart kid. Because I was smart, when it came for school things, I didn't have to spend too much time studying. Therefore I never developed a hard work ethic. Medical school is not for smart people - it's for hard workers. The amount of information they feed you in a day is equivalent to what you would be fed in a month in undergrad. It's nothing complicated, you just gotta keep chewing.

But there are some students who study a lot. I mean once they sit down, subhan Allah, they don't get up. Something that bothered me though was when Muslim students are more concerned with studying then making it out to a halaqa. And their excuse literally would be "I don't know man, this exam is creeping up on me." I thought to myself later on that death is creeping up on all of us too man, we have to make time for our deen. I could probably put in 3, maybe 4 quality hours of studying a day. But nowhere near the insane amounts that the ones who get the highest grades can pull. How do I reconcile that? Simple: I am Muslim. I don't need to study 6 hours a day to ace my exams. I got baraka (Insha Allah) working in my favour. And will show the world that it is possible to balance, to do it all, and not live and die in the library and still get the best grades. I never strive to work hard. But I always aim to work smart.

This is ten percent luck
twenty percent skill
fifteen percent concentrated power of will
five percent pleasure
and fifty percent pain
and a hundred percent reason to remember the name

Aiight, time to hit up the library =D

Dhul Hijjah

Let's not forget some Islamically significant days coming up. The following was taken from http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/dhul%20hijjah.htm


Compiled by Shawana A. Aziz
The month of Dhul-Hijjah is a season of worship, and seasons of worship bring along blessings, benefits and opportunities to correct one's faith and make up for shortcoming. Every one of these special opportunities involves some kind of worship, which brings the slave closer to his Lord. And Allah bestows His blessings and Favors on whom He wills. The fortunate person is he who makes good use of these special months, days, and hours, while worshiping Allah. He is most likely to be touched by the blessings of Allah. [Ibn Rajab, al-Lataa'if pp. 8]

The first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah are marked blessed for both, the pilgrims and the non-pilgrims. Rewards of good deeds are multiplied in these days. Imaam Ibn Qayyim (rahimahullah) (d. 751H) said: “Indeed, its days are the most excellent of all the days with Allah. It has been confirmed in Saheeh al-Bukharee from Ibn Abbas (radhi allahu anhu) that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “No deed are more virtuous than deeds on these days.” The companions asked: 'Not even Jihad (fighting in Allah's Cause)?' He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) replied: “Not even Jihad for the sake of Allah, unless a man goes out risking himself and his wealth for the sake of Allah, and does not come back with anything.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee vol: 2, no: 457] And it is these ten days, of which Allah takes an oath saying: “By the dawn; by the ten nights.” [Soorah al-Fajr (89): 1-2] This is why it is recommended to increase in making Takbeer, Tahlil and Tamhid during these days.” [Zaad al-Ma'aad vol: 1, pp: 56]

Yawm al-Arafat: The 9th day of Dhul-Hijjah is the day of Arafat. It is this day when the pilgrims gather on the mountain plain of Arafat, praying and supplicating to their Lord.

The day of Arafat holds great importance in Islam since this is the Day when Allah completed his revelation on His Messenger (sallahu alaihe wa-sallam). It is reported in the Saheehayn (i.e. Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim), from Umar Ibn al-Khattab (radhi allahu anhu) that a Jewish man said to him: “O Ameer al-Mumineen (O head of the Muslims)! There is a verse in the Qur'aan, which if was revealed on us, the Jews, we would have taken that day as an Eid (festival).” Umar asked: “Which verse?” He said: “This day I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” [Soorah al-Maidah (5): 3] Umar (radhi allahu anhu) said: “We know on which day and in which place was this verse revealed to Allah's Messenger (sallahu alaihe wa-sallam). It was when he was standing in Arafat on a Friday.”

Arafat is the day on which Allah took the covenant from the progeny of Adam (alaihis-salaam), it was reported that Ibn Abbas (radhi allahu anhu) narrated: “The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) related: “(When Allah created Adam (alaihis-salaam) Allah took covenant from him in a place Na'maan on the day of Arafat, then He extracted from him all the descendants who would be born until the end of the world, generation after generation, and spread them out in front of Him in order to take a covenant from them also. He spoke to them face to face saying: “Am I not your Lord?” and they all replied: “Yes, we testify to it.” Allah then explained why He had all of mankind bear witness that He was their Creator and only true God worthy of worship. He said: “That was in case you (mankind) should say on the Day of Resurrection, 'Surely, we were unaware of this. We had no idea that You, Allah, were our Lord. No one told us that we were only supposed to worship You.” …” [(Saheeh) by Shaikh al-Albanee in Silsilah al-Ahaadeeth as-Saheehah vol: 4, no: 1623] Indeed, the day of Arafat is a blessed day and there is no other covenant greater than this covenant!

Arafat is a day of Forgiveness from sins, freedom from the Hell-Fire for the people who are present in the plain of Arafat. Aa'ishah (radhi allahu anha) narrated the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) saying: “There is no day on which Allah frees more people from the Fire than the day of Arafat. He comes close and expresses His pride to the angels saying, 'What do these people (the Hajis) want?'” [Saheeh Muslim]

This Haadeeth mentions forgiveness for the pilgrims. In addition to this, fasting on the day of Arafat is a Sunnah and an expiation of sins for the residents.

Hunaydah ibn Khaalid reported from his wife that some of the wives of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) used to fast on the ninth of Dhul-Hijjah, on the day of Aashoorah, on three days of each month, and on the first two Mondays and Thursdays of each month.” [(Saheeh) by Shaikh al-Albanee in Saheeh Abi Dawood vol: 2, no: 462]

It is reported in Saheeh Muslim that when the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) was asked about the fasting on the day of Arafat, he said: “It expiates the sins of the previous year and that of the following year.” [Saheeh Muslim] This fasting is Mustahabb only for the non-pilgrims and not for the Hajis (the pilgrims) because it was not the practice of Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) to fast on the day of Arafat during pilgrimage and in a narration he also forbade doing so. Imaam at-Tirmidhee (rahimahullah) (d. 275H) said: “The People of Knowledge consider it recommended (Mustahabb) to fast on the day of Arafat, except for those at Arafat." [Jaami'ut-Tirmidhee (3/377)]

Yawm an-Nahr: The tenth day of Dhul-Hijjah is the greatest day of Hajj. It is known as Yawm an-Nahr (the day of Sacrifice), since it marks the ending of the major rite of Hajj - the Sacrifice. And it is on this day that the Muslims commemorate the bounties and blessings of Allah. It was recorded in a Hadeeth by Imaam Ahmad (in his Musnad vol: 4, no: 350) that the day of Nahr is the most virtuous day to Allah. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “The greatest day of Hajj (Pilgrimage) is the Day of an-Nahr (Slaughtering).” [(Saheeh) by Shaikh al-Albanee in Irwa al-Ghaleel (no: 1101). Abu Dawood no: 1945]

Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah (d. 728H) said: “The most excellent day of the week is the day of Jumuah (Friday), by the agreement of the Scholars. And the most excellent day of the year is the day of an-Nahr. Some of them said that it is the day of Arafat. However, the first opinion is the correct one, since it is related in the Sunan collections that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “The most excellent days with Allah is the day of an-Nahr, then the day of al-Qarr (the day that the Muslims reside in Mina).” [(Saheeh) by Shaikh al-Albanee in Irwa al-Ghaleel (no: 2018). Related by Abu Dawood no: 1765].” [Majmoo al-Fatawa vol: 25, pp. 288]
The day of An-Nahr is also known as 'Eid al-Adhaa' meaning the festival of Sacrifice and it is one of the two festivals which Allah has granted to the Ummah of Prophet (sallahu alaihe wa-sallam). Anas (radhi allahu anhu) narrated, “Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) came to Medina and the people of Medina in the days of Jahiliyyah had two days of play and amusement. So, Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “I came to you and you had in Jahiliyyah, two days of play and amusement. Allah has replaced something better for you. The Day of an-Nahr and the day of al-Fitr.” [(Saheeh) by Haafidh Ibn Hajr in Buloogh al-Maraam. Related by Musnad Ahmad vol: 3, no: 103]

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “The day of al-Fitr, and the day of an-Nahr, and the days of at-Tashreeq (the three days after an-Nahr) are our days of Eid (festivity); and they are days of eating and drinking.” [(Saheeh) by Shaikh al-Albanee in Saheeh al-Jamee (no: 8192). Related by Musnad Ahmad (no: 1945)]

Glorifying Allah with Takbeer: (Takbeer al-Muqayyid): From the day of Arafat until the Asr prayer of the 13th day of Dhul-Hijjah, one should make Takbeer after every obligatory Salaat. Ibn Abee Shaybah relates that Alee (radhi allahu anhu) used to make the Takbeer beginning after the Fajr prayer on the day of Arafat, until after the Asr prayer on the last day of at-Tashreeq.” [(Saheeh) by Shaikh al-Albanee in al-Irwa. Related by Ibn Abee Shaybah in al-Musannaf]

Shaikh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullah) said: “The most correct saying concerning the Takbeer - that which the majority of the Salaf (Pious Predecessors), and the Scholars from the Companions and Imams were upon - is to begin making the Takbeer from Fajr (dawn) on the day of Arafat up until the last day of at-Tashreeq (the thirteenth of Dhul-Hijjah), after every Prayer.” [Majmoo al-Fatawa (24/220)]

Imaam al-Khattaabee (rahimahullah) (d. 456H) said: "The wisdom behind saying the Takbeer in these days is that in the times of Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic ignorance), they used to slaughter for their Taaghoots (false objects of worship). So the Takbeers were prescribed in order to indicate that the act of slaughtering is directed to Allah alone, and by mentioning only His Name.” [Fath al-Baree]

As regards to the actual wording of the Takbeers, then nothing authentic has been related from the Messenger of Allah. However, the following have been reported from the Sahabah:

1. Ibn Mas'ood (radiyallahu anhuma): “Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, La ilaha illa Allah, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar wa lillahil-Hamd.” [(Saheeh) Irwaa al-Ghaleel (650), Daraqutne, Ibn Shaibah] (Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest, There is none worthy of worship except Allah. Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest and to Allah belongs all praises)

2. Ibn Abbas (radiyallahu anhuma): “Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar wa lillahil-Hamd; Allahu Akbar wa-ajal, Allahu akbaru ala mahadana.” [(saheeh) - Bayhaqee (3/315)] (Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest and to Allah belongs all praises. Allah is the Greatest to that which He has guided us to)

3. Salman (radhi allahu anhu) : “Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar kabeera.” [(saheeh) - Bayhaqee (3/316)] (Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest)
“Increase in these days you Tahlil, Takbeer and Tamhid.” (Takbeer al-Mutlaq)
“...And mention the name of Allah on the appointed Days...” [Soorah al-Hajj (22): 28] This verse has been explained (by some) to mean the ten days of Dhul-Hijjah. Scholars consider it desirable to increase Dhikr (remembrance of Allah) in these days, because the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) is reported to have said: “There are no days that are greater to Allah or in which deeds are more beloved to Him than these ten days, so increase your Tahlil, Takbeer and Tamhid during these days.” [Musnad Ahmad] Tahlil, Takbeer and Tamhid mean saying 'La ilaha illa Allah', 'Allahu Akbar' and 'al-Hamdu lillah', respectively.

Ishaaq narrates from the scholars of the Taabi'een that in these ten days they used to say: Allahu-Akbar, Allahu-Akbar; Laa-ilaaha-ill-Allah; waAllahu-Akbar, Allahu-Akbar; Wa-lillaahil-hamd.

It is a beloved act to raise the voice when saying the Takbeer in the markets, the houses, the streets, the masjids and other places, because of the saying of Allah Most High in Soorah al-Hajj verse 37: “...that you may magnify Allah for His Guidance to you...” Imaam Bukharee (rahimahullah) said in the book of al-Idayn in the chapter of the Virtue of good) deeds during the days of Tashreeq, Ibn Umar and Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhuma) would go out in the marketplace during the ten days and say Takbeer, and the people would say Takbeer when they said Takbeer.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

The Sunnah is to say the Takbeer individually. The saying of Takbeer in congregation, i.e., everyone pronouncing the Takbeer with one voice, is not permissible since this has not been transmitted (to us) from the early generations of the Sahaabah and those who followed their ways. .This is applicable for all Dhikr and supplications, except if the person doesn't know what to say. In that case he may repeat after someone else until he learns (the words to be said).
What You Can Do in these Blessed Days of Dhul-Hijjah?

The days of Dhul-Hijjah are the most blessed ones; therefore every Muslim should make much from this opportunity. Among the blessings of Allah is that He has given us many ways to perform good deeds and to worship Him, so that the Muslim may be constantly active and consistent in his worship of his Lord. Here are some out of many good deed, which you can perform in these days. Remember, deeds, which are less preferred are made superior and more beloved to Allah in these days, than the superior deeds performed at other times!! This is indicated in the Hadeeth where the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihe wa-sallam) said regarding Jihad which is the most superior of all deeds to be less superior than the voluntary fast in these days, except that the Mujahid, “goes out risking himself and his wealth for the sake of Allah, and does not come back with anything.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Hajj and Umrah are the best deeds performed in Dhul-Hijjah.

Fasting as many days as possible, especially the day of Arafat, which is a Sunnah. Fasting is one of the best of deeds. Allah chose fasting for Himself from all the good deeds, as is stated in the Hadeeth Qudsee: “All the deeds of the son of Adam are for him, except for fasting, which is for Me and I am the One Who will reward him for it.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee (1085)]

Takbeer al-Muqayyid: The Takbeer, which is restricted to the time after the five obligatory Salaat. This begins from after Fajr prayer of the day of Arafat (for the non-pilgrims) until the Asr prayer of the last day of Tashreeq.

Takbeer al-Mutlaq: The unrestricted Takbeer; ‘Allahu Akbar’, at all times of night and day until Eid al-Ahda.

Perform plenty of Nafl (voluntary) prayers.

Recite and Memorize the Qur'aan.

Abstain from disobedience and sins, because disobedience is the cause of Allah's Anger. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihe wa-sallam) said: “Verily Allah has a sense of Ghayrah (honor, prestige and anger over it's violation), and Allah's sense of Ghayrah is provoked when a person does that which Allah has made prohibited.” [Saheeh Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim] Whereas, obedience and abstaining from all those things, which Allah has prohibited, is a form of worship and a means to achieve Allah's Love.

Hasten to make Sincere Tawbah (Repentance) to Allah because repentance means coming back to Allah. It is forgoing all those deed, which Allah dislikes in open and in secret, out of regret for what has passed, abandoning them immediately and being determined not to return to it again. When a Muslim combines repentance with good deeds during the most virtuous days, this is a sign of his success. Allah says: “But as for him who repented, believed and did righteous deeds, then he will be among those who are successful.” [Soorah al-Qasas (28): 67]

Give Charity

Attend Salaat al-Eid and the Khutbah.

Slaughter Udhiyah (Sacrifice) on the day of Eid al-Adha is another good deed which brings the slave closer to his Lord.

There is much to be gained, so make the most of this these invaluable and irreplaceable days.

I need a fatwa

Over the break I went over to my inlaws and I saw a nice calender from west suburban bank that had all these motivational/inspirational pictures and quotes on them... and I shamelessly asked my inlaws if I could have it (typical me). Them being very gracious and generous hosts, May Allah (S) reward them, hooked me up with TWO calenders. So I am set until 2010. Anyways, I wanted to cut these calenders up and then pin them all over my walls cuz man sometimes you need reminding that you can make it in this thing called medical school. But there are 2 or 3 posters that have animals on them, like a lion and a wolf. I know my family is big on hanging pictures from the walls, and normally I wouldn't care but I try to keep areas where I pray to be free from hanging pictures. Does anyone know anything on the issue? Give me the most liberal opinion haha

On gaining weight

So... I gain weight per milestone in life. In highschool I was 200. Entering college I was 215. After I lived on campus a year I was 230. And now, after I moved here, I am a lean 244.

So... here is the plan. I joined LA Fitness today. For the first time in my life I joined a pretty sick gym for a pretty good deal and it's my own membership... so I am kind of excited. The plan is to go directly after classes every day straight to the gym. This week will be Cardio and Weights on alternate days. Next week will be cardio and weights both the same days.

By the way, I have many goals this quarter, insha Allah. Even though I plan on getting straight A's, doing well in med school is on the bottom of my list. Getting fit is # 1 on my list - tied with memorizing Quran.

Lack of physical activity is only half the problem. The other half is my insane eating. So my solution is that I will only eat when I am hungry, and I will stop eating the moment the hunger goes away. That means if I feel hungry and I eat a sandwich, and after 2 bites the hunger is gone, then I will save the rest of the sandwich for later. Oh, and I will drink some more water insha Allah.

Here's my list of things to accomplish this quarter, in order of importance:
1. Memorize Quran
1. Get fit
2. Learn Arabic
2. Learn Urdu
3. Get straight A's

As a hobby I will insha Allah try reading more Islamic books. I'm also going to restart listening to lectures via CDs cuz now I'll be driving to the gym so I should get car time.

Well ladies, that's it for now. Keep in touch and keep commenting. Sorry I haven't written anything on school yet, it kind of didn't start. But tomorrow night maybe I can throw in a few things, iA.

Recapping Last Quarter Part 1

t geSo for all the people who asked and for those of you who forgot to ask, med school for me was tough. At least the first quarter was. I think the worst parts were not being able to sleep. Not because I didn't have time to, but rather sleep simply wouldn't come. And it would screw me over more and more. Let's say I plan to get 6 or 5 hours. So I go to bed around 12 (the whole time I am tired as hell). But when you don't fall asleep until 2:30 or 3, and you have to wake up at 5:30, then you either oversleep, in which case you lost study time or miss classes, or you wake up like a zombie. Either way you are screwed. I remember some times when I was ultra tired, I would lay down to sleep, but I could feel a huge pulse on my neck. The sound of my carotid pulse would deafen my world. I believe that is stress related, but I'm sure some one else (Umar Khokhar) can tell me if it is otherwise.

Nice Quotes

There is no such thing as stress. Just stressful thinking.
~ Munther Salem

You can fix stupid, but you can't fix lazy.
~ Bader Almoshelli

Medical School is a very jelous mistress.
~ AZCOM

Under Construction

Hey everyone, insha Allah you can stay up to date with my life with this blog. I am only sending this to very few people. Anyways, I'll start posting soon once the next quarter starts. Be sure to visit regularly!